xd: holiday woes

holidays. omgwtfbbq damnnnnn SIBEI sian.

so sian that i can eat a cow. damnnnnnzzzxxzxxzxz.

guess what, now i even find public transport rides interesting. observing how people behave in enclosed crowded areas with seats is more fun than you expect.

from constant observation, there are certain rules LAWS to take note of while boarding a public transport that are unannounced but acknowkedged island-wide. here they are.



1. if there is a 2-man seat that's occupied by one person and another seat that's totally unoccupied, always take that unoccupied seat. (applies only for S.B.S. (Si Bei Sian)* buses.)

Diagram:





reasons explaining such behavior:

a) the person occupying that seat might think that youve got some unknown business with him/her if you choose to take a seat beside him/her when there's a totally empty seat. to prevent this, take that damned empty seat!

b) strangers are arbituarily unclean, and whenever and wherever possible, don't sit next to them.

c) singapore's people are shell-shocked by their secondary school chemistry education, so much that they believe people are electrons and seats are orbitals. so in order to prevent repulsion which results in a lower ionisation energy and increased unstability, always enter an empty orbital. =D



2. whenever youre sharing a seat with some other stranger and another person leaves his seat leaving behind an empty seat, always move to that empty seat (also for buses).

Diagram:





reasons explaining such behavior:

a) and b) are same as above.

c) singaporeans believe that it is wrong for an electron to be removed from a half-filled orbital rather than from a full one. but what happens on the bus contradicts this knowledge, creating extreme confusion and pandemonium within their minds. so as a corrective response, he moves to the empty seat. i mean orbital.



3. on a crowded bus/mrt (seats are full and there are people standing,) whenever there is an empty seat right in front of you (provided that you are standing,) regardless of it being half-occupied or not, always take it.

reasons explaining such behavior:

a) since you are the person closest to the seat, you are entitled to it. another person who's near you wont want to take it out of courtesy because he acknowledges this fact. if you dont take the seat, the seat will always be empty, and that's... retarded.

b) if you dont take the seat when you can, the person who occupies half the seat will feel insulted. because he knows for some reason you don't want to sit with him, probably because you think he's unclean/in a lower social class than you, and because youre elitist you dont want to sit with him/smelly/fat/ugly/etc...

c) the standing people are a sea of delocalised electrons. when there is a half-filled orbital, a delocalised electron must fill that orbital.



4. if a pregnant lady/senior citizen/etc. comes on board the bus/mrt, pretend to sleep. (this is pretty much covered by others already. so no point explaining.)



5. NEVER talk to anyone on the bus/mrt who isnt your friend.

reasons explaining such behavior:

a) the bus is a conducive place for learning. nobody shall disturb the peace. at all times, the bus/mrt shall be unnaturally quiet.

b) people might just think youre a suspicious article, and inform the staff of your presense or call 999.

c) electrons don't talk.

PS: kaisheng or ernest if you wanna edit this go ahead. add your name to the title.

* got this from talkingcock.com's dictionary. lol!