xd and Polaris: osama si liao arh?

after all this while, ive learned that opinions on certain taboo issues and should not be freely expressed. such taboo issues include: religion, ethnicity, certain controversial ideas, events, and individuals (eg. Holocaust, Hitler), and, of course, the good and flawless singapore white PAP gahmen.

but in this post we're going to touch on one of the above. we'll try to make it as politically correct as possible, though.

according to bbc, "The Saudi government has denied a French newspaper report saying France's secret services believe Osama Bin Laden is dead."

so, the big question: osama die already anot?

well, if he died, hooray and not hooray. hooray coz he's probably not able to do any more damage to this already scarred world, and not hooray coz he can never be brought to justice in a court trial. which is regretful.

but if he didnt die, bush is happy, coz he would be able to secure his position as the president because there is an enemy for the americans, an enemy who creates fear. and bush uses fear as a political tool, according to the LA compre.

but come to think of it, it couldnt have been fun to live as a fugitive for 5 years. bad food, poor shelter, bad living conditions. (he can't live in a normal city without risking getting identified, right? and it's not like everyone there totally support him. there are bound to be nosy american NSA agents. and probably some kiasu singaporeans who specially make their way into afghanistan to spot osama. "比中 4D 还要好 leh! 美金几百万 sia!")

another issue is that since the death of steve irwin, there hasnt been another nation-wide msn event. then, it was an irritating tortoise.

now, how about a emoticon in front of our nicks to celebrate/show our hopes for osama's death?

suggestions (type them out in an msn chatbox):

:) the yaye osama die liao symbol
(nah) the ram emoticon, "the closest thing available to msn that resembles osama"
:D the big grin smiley (yes, there is no link. for those who don't know what's going on.)
(tu) for the diehard steve irwin fan that believes stevie's death still owns osama's
(li)(ap) the aeroplane in a lightning storm emoticon (symbolising that osama's plans are doomed to fail) either that, or in rain or storm he's gonna fly a plane into another skyscraper.

and, like i said, we are not terrorist suspects and we don't worship or idolise osama. so please don't give us trouble, mr policeman. we want none.

P.S. this is probably the last boredlela post that involves xd and polaris before the assessment week. we will be going on a 3-week hiatus. we'll be back with our first podcast.

good luck for assesment week, guys.

R.I.P Osama. Dead or Alive?

Beanbag: It's alive! It's alive!... well, not really.

[missing addresses] (-8 marks)


IP 先生/小姐/女士： (-1 mark)

[missing title] (-1 mark)
本人是个boredlela的blogger。今日特投此函to.. uhh my brain's not working. Remember hup2-hup2? No, i guess not. Maybe polaris does. (-9 marks)

hup2-hup2. ABUSED




and he died from severe physical and mental and psychological and emotional and what-have-you trauma caused by mr benjamin chua.

and now, somebody's back with a vengeance.

-=[HUP3-HUP3]=-
coming soon, to a classroom near you.
21/9/2006

xd: great day today

today was superb. let's recount what happened.

in the morning, i completed the KSA application form, only to realise, to my dismay, that i was the only loser who didnt have a research attachment background among the people who also applied in my class.

cumulative mood rating: 70%

next, during chinese, i received my compre exercise, which i failed together with gimlim. (come to think of it, at least there's someone who shares my plight, so i should feel happy.) got a retarded 18.5/42. it didnt help either that i just took my prelims.

cumulative mood rating: 55%

after lunch was physics. after watching the presentations by my fellow classmates (on movie scenes,) i realised how little information my own group had given on the poster. "oh damn. we're gonna lose content marks."

cumulative mood rating: 45% (fail le)

next was probability. as we tried the examples related to p&c, i was reminded that i had only managed a mere pass (16/30) for the last test. and maths is supposed to be the subject that im likely to score in. i also found out that i hadn't touched probability at all since his last lesson with us.

cumulative mood rating: 25%

finally, chem. how wonderful had it been to realise that i was unfamiliar with most of what mr loh said. "i think i'm really screwed."

cumulative mood rating: 10%

and then i went home. i checked the mirror, and saw someone with atrociously messed up hair.

that's it.

cumulative mood rating: -10%

and guess what, my group is performing the crucible tomorrow. which doesnt really help.

***

then again, i think of the poor african kids who are starving to death and getting eaten by vultures. and of course, the rwandan people who got killed and didnt have proper graves so that they had to lie on roads and in churches like Warcraft III ghouls.

so maybe my day wasnt that bad after all.

cumulative mood rating: 50%

the prophecy

war is raging
cowards hide
armed with instruments of doom;
they fearlessly march into the battlegrounds

with no armor
no backup
no mercy
just pure brute strength;

they fight
chaos rip through,
darkness descends;
as panic subtly creeps into the warriors' hearts

few die bravely
others struggle to hold on to life
while the Chosen Ones face the enemy with equaminity;
and fools who choose to remain behind

but they all know not
the ultimate evil has not yet awakened
he who possess the power to crush
to wipe out all traces of life

the reign of chaos
the frozen throne
the tragic sacrifice
and the ritual tomes

until then
live on, warriors
and learn from the spellbook of doom
for it be the only way for the heroes
to enter the sinister dungeon
where the ancient evil looms

xd and Polaris: a proposal for a new LA module

LA2103: The Art of Emo
- Module Outline

Overview:

As the world progresses, competition reaches a new height, and everything becomes more demanding. For example, it is now impossible to do without the internet, and those ulu uncles at coffee shops without proper blogging skillz will definitely lose out. (Lee Hsien Loong also says so leh!) Such things result in stress in every individual, and there is a need for these stress to be let out.

HENCE, we need to learn how to be EMO.

LA2103 would teach you just that. This would be a 1 semester long module, and since it's an emo module, it is an E-MOdule. (no link la, but never mind.) Students are required to go on the KM to download slides, listen to the lectures, and complete a worksheet which is about the thickness of a 现代汉语词典.

Module outline:

Students taking this module will be taught the following stuff:

1. An history of Emocore writings, dating back to prehistoric times, when dinosaurs first scratched on tree barks to express their emotions.

2. An Introduction to the most famous Emocore writers, such as Martin Luther King, and also contemporary Emo writers, like Colin Ee.

3. The types of emo:

a.) Emo kid emo: “The world hates me because my hair covers my eyes and I wear black. Only black.”b.) Meaningless life emo: “My life is meaningless. I’ll kill myself. But first let me blog about it.”
c.) Bored emo: “Sian. I’m damn bored and school work is killing me. Oh my 天.”
d.) Extreme hardcore emo: Nobody survived this kind of emo. We can find them in Hell.
e.) Philosophical emo: “What is my purpose on earth? Time to meditate.”
f.) Those who tell the wall to shut up. Twice. – Insane emo
g.) Hatred emo: I hate my mom, who hates me. I hate my dad, who hates my mom, who hates me.
h.) Vulgar and pissed emo: “Fuck these people. Sons of Bitches. Get the fuck out of my face. This world doesn’t need people like you. You are the scum of the Earth, and even Hell would reject you. Morons. Incompetent fools………”
i.) The-world-is-a-rotten-place emo: “O, what becometh of thy world! Friend, what be thy sorrows?” Friend: “er.. like, nothing?” “That be a pitiful sorrow!”

4. An analysis of literary text in the form of songs, for example Jimmy Eat World's Crush, Slipknot's People = Shit, and of course the most controversial Emo Kid, by Adam and Andrew. Students will also be provided with reading material koped from people's blogs, and these will be discussed during lessons.

5. Assessment:

Class Participation: 10%
Students will be judged on how emo they are when they express themselves in class. If they can scream and whack their tables, they would immediately be given a pass. If they can pretend to run out of class and attempt to jump off the parapet or simply attempt suicide in any way, they would be awarded with a further 3%. The remaining 2% would be reserved for students'... enthusiasm.
Join Singapore idol and make it to the last four? Full marks!

Journal (blog): 20%
Weekly, students are required to go home to crap out an emo post on their blogs, since its an E-MOdule. A good example of such a post is available on boredlela.blogspot.com, entitled "xd: another emo post". Students are required to create a tagboard on their journal blogs, so that their tutors can give comments. Marks will be awarded on the degree of emo. If a student makes a teacher feel sorry for him/her, he would be given a pass. 15%-20% would be rewarded if the student makes the teacher feel emo as well. 30% (with bonus 10%) would be rewarded if the teacher kills herself after reading the post.

Take home assignment: 20%
Some time in the middle of the module, students would be given an assignment. It would be a 800-1500 words long essay which reflects the student’s life. A sample assignment question: How f*cked up has your life been so far? Rubrics would be similar to the journal blog’s.

On-the-spot essay writing (assessment week): 20%
During assessment week, students will need to write a review on an emo text. These texts can be taken from anywhere: Colin Ee’s blog, leehuizhen’s blog, boredlela, etc. If a student can understand and identify the author’s emo type, he would manage a pass. If he gives in depth analysis, he would be awarded 20%-25%. If he becomes so emo and writes out an in-depth essay with blood from his slashed wrist, he would be given full marks.

Group project: 30%
Students are required to split themselves into groups of 4-5 for this project. At the end of the semester, groups must come up with a plan to cause the suicide of a normal person through the use of emo-inducing techniques. Students can choose to present their plans in whatever formats possible: posters, songs, computer games, or even a speech. If a group does not succeed in making a person commit suicide, they would be failed. 15-29% would be awarded if the group succeeds to make a person commit suicide. Full marks would only be awarded if the group's project can cause the suicide of a discipline master called Baron Chua.

Tips for students:
Always bring along fake blood with you so that you can pretend to slash your wrist in class.
Grow a long fringe to give yourself the emo look.
Listen to Jimmy Eat World and Taking Back Sunday everyday.
Try to steal your sister’s mascara.
Eat tacos.

Resources:
Colin’s blog: rondasami.blogspot.com
leehuizhen’s blog: iloveblackandwhite.blogspot.com
The journal of an Emo Kid, by xemox, published after his suicide
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/emo

The boredlela team: Steve Irwin, and his... turtles?

First of all, on a solemn note, the members of boredlela would wish to express our sincere sympathies to the tragic loss of Stephen Robert Irwin - a great man who was deeply passionate about animals and who died doing what he loved best.

now, on a less tense note, let's look at the effects of his passing on.


Crocodile hunter.
Crocodile hunter.
Crocodile hunter.

Steve Irwin, crocodile hunter.
Not turtle hunter.
Crocodile hunter.

I repeat, crocodile hunter.
so.. what's up with everyone and the turtles?


look at that!



Steve Irwin does this.


Not this.

So why are we getting these turtles?

we personally believe that attributing a turtle to a recently deceased man is a great disrespect. we all know too well that turtles, or 乌龟 in chinese, is often used to insult people for cowardice or simply to show contempt for nasty people.




That's why we shouldn't label people as turtles.

However, we know that singapore is world-renowned to have very compassionate and creative teenagers who dislike following the crowd. Our unique singaporean teenagers would also be very willing to help, in one way or another, the family and relatives of Steve Irwin to overcome this not-so-happy period.

And therefore our teenagers have thought of a very wise plan: to put something on their msn nicks to commemorate Irwin's death. here's what analysts believe:

"Due to the lack of a crocodile emoticon in "msn default emoticons", teens are turning to the closest reptile they can find, in this case, the turtle, as a means to commemorate the day where this great nature-lover passed on." However, a specific 'analyst' thinks that maths questions are a much better form of commemorating special days.

In addition, we feel that by putting turtles on msn nicks will contribute indefintely to aid the family and relatives Steve Irwin, because who knows, maybe someone out there will donate 3 cents to Irwin's family for each turtle on msn. well, at least those chain mails we receive all come from those people.

HENCE, we believe that we can no longer push the blame to singaporean teenagers for doing this. we need to blame someone else.

WE MUST SUE MICROSOFT for not forecasting Steve Irwin's death and subsequently creating a new update for msn messenger which includes a crocodile emoticon for the singaporean teenagers' use.

Meanwhile I guess we'll have to settle with the turtle... Or do we?




ahh. Across the internet, we have yet again discovered a new trend growing among youths. Till date, it has attracted FOUR. Not bad, for a movement that started only minutes ago!

It involves a ram and a mountain goat. Beats turtles, hands down.

We call this the animated fighting goat and ram movement.

How many of you have actually eated a ramly burger? well, technically they aren't made from rams. So there's no link. Sorry that was off the topic.

This movement plans to commemorate all the rams and goats who died in vain for children who don't finish their food. So please, please, children, please finish your food.

We even have a crest for our movement. it is as follows:

Designed it myself, i might add!
Please don't make me do a creative brief for this logo. I will scream at you, AK-47chromosome.

xd: another emo post

These days, time pass really fast.

I try to get things done, but always end up finding myself wasting so much time. It's almost as if I'm being squeezed through a vacuum cleaner pipe. Everything else seem to be moving at their own normal pace, while my life is being fast forwarded...

I dont like this at all. I'm afraid. No, maybe I'm just not used to it.

All these remind me of a story I've once heard from the obs instrutor: There was a bold young man. One day, he said, "God, give me the power to change the world." Many years passed, and he aged. Yet he found that he accomplised nothing. So he altered his statement, "God, please let me change the people around me." Another 2 decades or so passed, and he was already and old man. Again he achieved nothing. Only then he recognised his naivety. So finally he said, "God, I have been foolish all the while. Just give me the power to change myself."

No, its not that I want to change the world. It's just that I somehow feel the same way that the old man would feel. That all the time that passed were not put to full use. Wasted. Especially when it started with everything looking promising. And I guess this is making me subconsciously stressed. I'm just hoping that this stress doesnt affect my daily life.

But some effects of stress are already creeping into my life. Subtle, but detectable. I got really frustrated today when my mother started telling me about the importance of exercise and a healthy diet. So rudely I told her to stop talking and that I understood what she was getting at. I felt regretful after that, but didnt even realise why I became so frustrated at the first place. I cant even taste food properly, and find that stuff at fast food restaurants either too salty or too bland. Or simply just not good. Appetite decreased too.

And to everything else, I'm getting numb...

This September holidays is not helping things much, if not making things worse. I've already spent the first two days sleeping or playing or futilely trying to complete some work. And its really frightening how I fall asleep when its day and wake up in the dark. Sometimes I really wish all these was just a nighmare. A horribly constructed nightmare.

But then again I know I'm kidding myself. This is no dream. This is my life. My not so happy life. With the year coming to an end, along with the 2 years of genuine IP life, and the chinese o levels and end of year exams perilously close, its no wonder everything seems to be against me. Perhaps I'm reactionary. Or maybe I just fear change. Either case, it sucks...

And the funny thing is, I'm not a Christian. I've got no God to rely on for additional emotional support. Maybe I'm a free thinker. But most of the time I find myself as an atheist. Even a nihilist. But at least I'm not on the side of Satan. Probably that's why I'm confused at times. I feel alone. A hermit. But then again I would rather not be a prodigal son, because it'd really be shameful. Dishonourable, on my part. Even if God would accept me, I cant.

These days friends are my sole emotional support. Perhaps this blog too. Thanks guys. Thanks for being such good understanding friends.

Well, sometimes. Sometimes I just wish I could turn back time, to be an 8-year-old who enjoys going out with his family...

PS: nope, im not committing suicide. not that bad la. LAME. o.O

xd: women are weird

here's a post worth reading. taken from iloveblackandwhite.blogspot.com (if you know whose blog it is.)

Wednesday, August 30, 2006 9:47 PM

pimples are invading my face !

here's how the story goes :

i finished using my loreal facial wash and could not find time to go get a new tube.
so currently, im using this eversoft one which is my youngest brother's or something.
and eversoft totally dries up your face !never use eversoft.
i have no idea how my brother's complexion remains so perfect.

oh wells.

i hate eversoft.
gave me pimples : (
and i hate pimples.

i want to get a tan. a tan makes one's pimples less obvious i realise. like cos your entire face is dark so pimples are not easily seen. like when i came back from obm and i was tan and my pimples were momentarily 'invisible'.

i love tans.
takes away pimples : )
and i hate pimples.

all boxed up //

comments: she wants a tan now. cool. but we know that in less than a decade from now, she would be dying to get a fair complexion. so she'll shop for all sorts of weird weird facial creams, serums, hydrochloric and sulphuric acid (this is just in case those stuff dont work, so that she can corrode the mirror away.) and erm, of course, that loreal facial wash.

conclusion: women are weird.

PS: im sorry if this sounds too satirical. but i just cant help it, eh? LOL! and btw, I DONT EVEN NOTICE THAT THERE ARE PIMPLES ON YOUR FACE! dont be so self conscious le la!