xd: an example of a really really really dumb government

the following material is purely fictional and does not relate to any events in history. any resemblence to events, dead or living, is purely coincidental.

Below is a newspaper article:

INFLATION HAS BEEN A SERIOUS PROBLEM IN OUR COUNTRY. NOW YOU CAN DO YOUR PART TO CONTROL IT!

After an interminable 5 minutes debate, the monetary committee has finally decided on a foolproof plan to curb inflation, which has been plaguing our country for years. The government is going to call for a money burning exercise on the 31 August 2006.

Venue:
Any primary/secondary school/jc around you.

Time:
12pm-4pm

What to bring:
A lot of money (probably $1000 per person)

Rationale of the exercise:

this is done to increase the price of money by reducing the quantity of money circulating within the country. (what a marvelous breakthrough in monetary policy!) the effects of this exercise can be illustrated by the graph below:

by reducing the quantity through burning, the price of money would rise, and along with it the purchasing power of our currency. and thus the general price level would fall! INFLATION SOLVED! Isnt your government just pure genius?

Environmental issues

Luckily, the smart brains here at the government have also considered about the environmental effects of burning such a great amount of money. As a solution, it is compulsory that everyone only bring money in thousand-dollar notes. This would greatly reduce the amount of soot released into the air as compared to burning lots of notes of smaller denominations.

Theft?

Your reliable government has thought of theft too. To solve this, we recommend that everyone put your notes in your left shoe (please keep this secret). And voila! the robbers would never be able to guess where you hid your money!

Please do your part for the country's economey. Start withdrawing your money for burning NOW!

For enquiries, please call Tinkle Friend at 1800-2744788

the boredlela team: for the muggers and muggers at heart

at boredlela, the visitor's welfare is one of our top priorities. our aim is not to get anyone too indulged in our blog that he/she forgets about studying, resulting in poor grades. hence, we've decided to post a series of mugger questions for your doing pleasure.

note: answers will not be on the km. they would instead be posted in the "comments" below :D



Qn 1:
Topic: Permutations and Combinations

if that caused you to nearly have an asthmatic attack, not to worry. coz the question below would probably give you newfound interest in p&c. somehow. i don'ch know. here it is:

Girls love to do weird handsigns such as the peace symbol and the one-finger-point. that's covered by Polaris' post. But here's the thing: how many symbols can you make altogether out of your five fingers, if
a) you're only allowed to point your finger up or fold it completely
b) you have the additional option to fold your fingers halfway.
c) you're an emo kid and you slit your wrists.
d) with some l33t skill you can cut your fingers, and magically attach it back to where other fingers grow.

hint: usually fingers are distinct objects.
additional note: vulgar symbols are not allowed.



Qn 2:
Topic: Physics

another very much hated subject i guess. but again, not to fear. this one is, too, on familiar grounds.

The SIPG (stereotypical IP girl) has an uncanny ability to run and perform certain actions within an incredibly short time. for example, a dash to the girls' toilet takes only 1~5 seconds (this is depending on the class. 01 nearest to the toilet, so it takes 1 second. 05 furthest, it takes take 5 seconds. let's just assume everyone is using the TC block toilet), and tucking in a blouse takes a mere 3 seconds.

So one day, Ernest Eu entered 05ip02 and shouted out loud, "MS SELVA IS GOING TO DO A SPOTCHECK!"

Unnerved, SIPG #46 Yu Fang dashed to the toilet, tucked in her blouse, and then dashed back into 05ip02. all these in 7 seconds. assume that Yu Fang's weight is a whopping 75kg (wow. heavier than john song), g=9.81ms^-2, and the distance from Yu Fang's seat in 02 to the toilet is 5.3m.

i) calculate her displacement.
ii) find the total work done by Yu Fang, assuming that tucking in the blouse takes 76J per metre of blouse to tuck in, and Yu Fang has a circular waist of radius 0.35m.
iii) calculate the overall power Yu Fang needs to muster every time in order to avoid doing CWO on saturday.
iv) assuming the actual work she does to tuck her blouse in is 34 J, calculate her efficiency.

[optional]
after the brief episode, Yu Fang thought she was lucky and went to the Häagen-Dazs to eat her favourite ice cream, "The Ultimate Duck Oil, Chicken Fat, Whale Blubber, Lipid Supreme" (which has a density of 131.4352kg/m^3) as a celebration (to commemorate the special day). she gained a total of 1564356.247911 kcal of energy.
i) what was the total volume of ice-cream she consumed, assuming that 12.3249% (by mass) of the food she eats gets converted into useful energy??
hint: use E=mc^2 to change the energy into mass first
ii) using that energy alone, how many NJC steps can she climb, if each NJC step has a height of 14.8 cm?

after climbing 50 steps, Yu Fang could not climb anymore. she lost her balance, and fell from the height she is at to the ground, right onto some poor ulu jc guy. would he be killed instantly? explain clearly, including all assumptions in your answer.


Qn 3: Differentiation - Rates of Change

another frustrating subject, i guess.

Feeling depressed about what had just happened, Yu Fang decided to puke her "The Ultimate Duck Oil, Chicken Fat, Whale Blubber, Lipid Supreme" ice cream out onto the floor. assuming that her viscous puke forms a circular patch that increases in area at a constant rate of 5.3 m^2/s, find the rate at which the radius r is increasing at the instant when r = 1.3m. (in this question, take π = 3.14159)

Qn 4:
Topic: Econs!
A new wave of panic spread over singapore secondary school students as the OEPC (Organisation of Exam-paper Publishing Communities) decided reduce the amount of chinese test papers they will publish. In an interview, the head of the OEPC said, "既然华文要cool, 我们认为我们这些出版华文试卷的人，也应该出一份力. 因此, 我们决定推出新的 limited edition 华文试卷, 一共只出版 1337 卷，希望能为新加坡的华文学生带来一种另类的华文学习经验."

What's more, due to the imminent o levels, students are more anxious than ever to get their hands on chinese test papers.

Using a suitable econs mechanism, predict and explain the effects of this on the singapore secondary school student economy.

more coming up soon. (we've been quite busy lately you see, and this is what we've managed so far.)

Mr Brown: National Day Rally - mai ham.

http://www.mrbrownshow.com/?p=197
go listen to this!
ROFL
LAWL
LOLZZ

just go listen. yessssh

Lord of the Rongs

Three Rongs for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for the Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Poser on his dark throne
In the Land of oh-four where the Poser lies.
One Rong to rule them all, One Rong to find them,
One Rong to bring them all and in the darkness pwn them,
In the Land of oh-four where the Poser lies.

"Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg thrakatulûk, agh burzum-ishi krimpatul"
(the last 3 lines in rongish)


and it's History now - Rong Imperialism.

xd: short random post

i found this on the wikipedia yesterday. its quite cool, coz you never knew that such a thing existed even though you're exposed to it so frequently.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valspeak

well, dont be so quick to conclude that people like cat are dumb though. you might stir up an outrage.

at the meantime, let's check out why boys are s0 k00lx and l33t.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leet

"The name Leet itself is derived from the word elite (also 31337). Elite has been used in the past to designate a group of users as belonging to a higher social echelon than other users. Originally, elite had been reduced to one syllable, leet."

i hope that made you understand boys slang better.

(maybe sometime we should write an article on the boys vocab glossary.)

Zhirong and ___

(sing to the tune of "Tarzan and Jane" by Aqua.)

Deep in oh-four,
In the land of adventure, lives zhirong.

Oh yo-yee, oh yo-yee, oh-yee yo-yee yay,
I am ___ and I love to ride an elephant.

My name is zhirong, I am not a Man.
The IP poser from poser-land!
Come, Baby come, I'll take you for a swing.
去死吧 zhirong, I'm still mugging!

zhirong is imba, zhirong is 'strong'.
He makes people puke and his hair's all wrong.
zhirong is imba, zhirong is 'strong'.
So listen to the poser song.

Oh yo-yee, oh yo-yee, oh-yee yo-yee yay,
I am zhirong from oh-four, You can be my friend.
Oh yo-yee, oh yo-yee, oh-yee yo-yee yay,
I am ___ and I love to ride an elephant.

When you touch me, I feel funny.
I will die before you touch me!
Come to my tree-house, dota party.
No, I won't go, 'cos you will pwn me!

zhirong is imba, that's no surprise,
He makes people screwed and his hair is 'nice'.
zhirong is imba, zhirong is 'strong',
So listen to the poser song.
[repeat]

Go zhirong, go to oh-one.
Hey zhirong, go to oh-three!

When I am posing, I feel funky.
Why do you keep on dao-ing me?
zhirong is here, come kiss me baby.
Oochie coochie, kiss me? WTF!

zhirong is imba, zhirong is 'strong'.
He makes people puke and his hair's all wrong.
zhirong is imba, zhirong is 'strong'.
So listen to the poser song.
[repeat]

And so they got funky, but will zhirong have ___?
Stay tuned!

xd: stereotyping the typical ip girl

DISCLAIMER: this post does not necessarily characterise every single girl in the ip. and its not meant to be sardonic. its just meant to educate boys about creatures called girls.




i love to wear drawstrings, coz they make me look less retarded, even when i have to practise my formidable blouse-tucking skill daily so that i could make myself look proper to miss selva within 3 seconds.

i love shopping for useless stuff at orchard. but best if it was my boyfriend who gave it to me la...

i just cant stand love movies like "the lake house". I MUST WATCH IT! RARR. and omgoodness! the korean movie "love: 24/7" is coming out next week! the male lead character is that SUPER HOT korean guy!

i just dont get ip boys. i think they are disgusting creatures who are zhirong cult extremists. they're also insensitive sometimes. well, a lot of times. *vomits*

i love to blog about daily experiences. here's one of my blog posts:

really very tired today.. i cant believe that 某某人 actually glanced at me for a moment! i think he thinks im pretty. no la. just kidding. hahahahahhaahha. i think im weird. huizhen wrote me a postcard today. it was really sweet! thank you huizhen! hahah. AND SUDDENLY I FEEL LIKE EATING ICE CREAM FROM SWENSON'S. *screams* although it makes me fat.. =( but never mind, i guess i'll just do extra jogging to burn off those fats. rarr. oh i almost forgot! tmr is nut's birthday! i have to get a present for her later. got a lot of work to do, and still have that p&c test next week! *panics* oh no. i have to MUG now.

posted by: the typical ip girl date: 25/04/06

i really like magazines like "seventeen" and "girls just rock". they've got all sort of fashion updates! oh and i think the cover girl of seventeen last week is so pretty! and her spaghetti too. i must go orchard to shop for it someday.

i love to write postcards to my friends. most of the time i'll include five-mouthed smileys inside. like this one --> :))))) words like "sweet" and "muacks" are essential.

i think i'm very fashionable. everytime i go for outings i'd wear the most attractive set of clothes that i have. so that by some chance i'd be spotted by some hot guy. hahahahaha…!

im dead serious when i do projects. i must make sure my work is as neat and pretty as possible. so that i will get an A.

I HATE PHYSICS! but even so i must mug for it hard.

sometimes i think ive got a lot of fats. and when i gain 1 kg over the past year, i'd panic like crazy. but at the same time i would choose not to care about the fact that ive grown by 10 cm.

if some terrible thing happened (for example getting 25/40 for my maths test,) i would get emo, go home immediately after school, and cry. maybe id call jiafang and tell her about my feelings.

if some boy wrote what he thinks about us, the ip girls, i must retaliate!

so, wanna write about what you think of ip boys? send a entry to any one of us. kaisheng, ernest, or me. through email or through msn. haha. we encourage everyone to become special guest posters on our blog.

Polaris: random post

Hello again

So maybe this isn't a random post. I know this post might garner some hate and sow discord but I mean, freedom of speech and freedom of thought and opinion. Self-censorship can wait.

I shall now complain along the lines of gender.

Females.

Disclaimer: Do not read beyond this point if you're either

1. female
2. pro-female
3. zhirong

And my post is referring to nobody in particular, and no I am not planning a genocide on the female race.

well. first off i'd like to start off with the different categories of girls we should dislike.

1. Kawaii nehz!

Background knowledge
Yuck. Bimbos who take neoprints and go shopping all day, and/or dumbasses who think "speaking jap" is "kawaii nehz!".

Well for starters, "jap" is a derogatory term which may offend someone who is truly japanese.

These bimbos don't really serve much a purpose.

Quote:
"Nani!" "Baka!" (both of which i have yet to find out what they mean)

Symptoms
you know you're one of them when you

1. tYpE LiiKe dIiShH. ShO kEwLzX.
2. Blurt out random japanese words which people around you don't seem to understand.
3. Everytime you take a photo or a neoprint, you press your index finger into your cheek, or you make that dumb "peace" sign with your index and middle finger.
4. You listen to chinese and japanese music. both of which you might not really understand what the lyrics really mean.
5. Your report card just says "F" all over it

or

you don't even have a report card.
6. The way you dress is... horrible.
7. You might wear eyeliner and paint your nails.
8. You have an annoying voice.
9. You have a pink handphone.




1. It might help to have a translator who can speak broken japanese.
2. Toothpicks to blind your eyes before they do.
3. A lighter might help. you could set them on fire... The amount of hair wax they use could start a barbecue.


2. My parents hate me.

Background knowledge
Goth-chick wannabes with black fingernails, black toenails, jet-black hair, lots of eyeliner and maybe powder on the face.

Wardrobe: Black darnkess. Black pants black shirts. Maybe occasional black skirts. Oh yes don't forget the tie.

Quote:
"My parents just don't get me, you know. Just because my hair covers half my face doesn't make me cyclops. I want to drop out of school, play in a band and make music and write poetry."

Symptoms

1. Your favourite band is "blood rip romance and suffocate me dry" or something along that line.
2. Your appearance scares the shit out of slipknot.
3. You have a red barcode around your wrist region.
4. You only have one facial expression.
5. You and your friends look like clones.
6. Your best friend is your online diary.
7. Your life is a dark abyss.
8. Sun-tanning? No way, Jose. You tan in the moonlight.
9. You fashion sense is...sad.

Precautions and measures to take when approaching these people

1. Tissue paper.
2. Patience.
3. Paper for them to tear up.
4. Tacos.


3. Yay! Everything is happy!

Background knowledge

These people are happy. Everything about them is bright. Black is reserved for solemn occasions like when their pet dog dies.

Quote:
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine! Yay!"

Symptoms

1. You love pink.
2. You dress in bright colours
3. You have a high squeeky voice.
4. You are over-enthusiastic.
5. You don't need alcohol to get high.
6. Your favourite TV show is Barney and Friends. And you're already sixteen.
7. Your favourite band are The Wiggles.
8. While people have extra value meals, you order The Happy Meal.
9. You cried when the terminator died.
10. You watched the whole "Land Before Time" series twenty times. While you were in secondary school.

Precautions and measures to take when approaching these people

1. Cuddly furry soft toys.
2. Tellytubby VCDs.
3. A big heart.
4. High noise and wailing tolerance levels are required.


4. The Penultimate Bimbo.

Background Knowledge

Careful, anything you say about them might cause the whole clique to just turn against you. You don't want to get on their bad side.

Nonetheless pretty harmful, just pretty dumb-blonde-like. Think "Legally Blonde".

Quote
"Lets go shop at that new designer outlet! I want to get that top i saw in "Her World" magazine. So hip and trendy!"

Symptoms

1. Your favourite hobby is shopping and hanging out with "the babes" at orchard.
2. Your second most favourite hobby is admiring yourself in the mirror.
3. Your third favourite hobby is tanning at sentosa.
4. You take 5 hours to choose clothes.
5. You take another 5 hours to choose the right way to wear it.
6. You don't dare eat pizza because it'll dirty your manicured nails.
7. You listen to perfect 10 98.7 FM because you are "hip" and "in".
8. You love arrerrr and beeee music. (R & B)
9. You pretend to do sports. But you kind of suck at them. The most you've done is smacked a beach volleyball into a guy's b*tch volleyballs.
10. You wear your hair in a million different ways.
11. You cry and scream after every haircut.
12. You love chocolates but they'll make you fat. (Even though you're half my weight)
13. Your fourth favourite hobby is... Dieting.

Precautions

1. Have lots of cash. Chances are they'll run out and need to borrow from you.
2. Screw the cash. Have a credit card.
3. Long arms are a must. To hang all their plastic bags.
4. A towel. You might sweat around them. Because they're "Hot".


5. The Mugger Maxima

Background knowlege

School is nothing for them. They understand everything the teacher is explaining in class even before she does so.

In their free time they think about which book to read next. But then again, they don't have free time.

Quote:

"I believe the relevant authorities are morally obliged to abolish certain school rules and regulations, for example the setting of a quota for the quantity of books that the libraries of each educational institution could possess, in order to facilitate the advanced learning for the more gifted and academically inclined individuals, as it is a basic moral principle that people should get what they need for survival."

Symptoms:

1. Your favourite teacher is yourself.
2. Your idols are: Aristotle, Isaac Newton, Charles Darwin, Rene Descartes and so much more.
3. You believe that reading this blog is a waste of time.
4. You have memorised your Lam Peng Kuan and probably wrote a poem to that guy telling him that there are some mistakes in his book.
5. You dying correct the gramatical and speling mistakes this sentence.
6. You want to grow up to get Nobel Prizes for literature, philosophy, physics, biology, and much much more.
7. After school, you don't go home. You always go to the National Library first. Because you've already finished reading the books at the nearby library.
8. Secretly in your room you have drafted out blueprints of "The Hypervelocity Time-Space-Distorting Projectile Launcher"
9. Your favourite song is: "The Unlimited Capacity of the Human Brain" by "Bio Ultima"
10. You have once wanted to commit suicide because you found out that your IQ is 199 instead of 200.
11. Your GPA in IP1 was 8.6 because you are took 2 levels of academic courses at once.

Precautions:
1. Never try to argue with them.
2. Keep your books out of sight.
3. Try not to act smug.
4. Staying out of their sight is still the best policy to undertake.
5. Never let them know that youre blogging about them, or risk getting your blog torn down by the authorities after they've sent a impassioned petition to them.


Well so far this is what I've been able to come up with. If you have any more ideas, feel free to add!

Polaris and xd: the screwed up Singapore Idol

disclaimer: not for those who love singapore idol

singapore idol is becoming one of the worst reality shows on tv. here at boredlela, Polaris and xd will tell you why.

im pretty sure most of you have watched singapore idol (the 2nd season) at least once or twice. and probably youve given up on it ever since. just why do we think its a poor show? here are some reasons.

1. the (im)balance of talent and appearance.
we noticed that the singapore idol finalists can be classified into 4 categories:

category a:

Good and appealing appearance: yes
Skillz: none

there are many who belong to this category. joakim gomez is a perfect example. he sings flat throughout the competition, covering the high notes unskilfully, but ends up securing his position. what he does best: waxing his hair, making himself look attractive, and, of course, piss people like us off.








paul twohill is not much better, but on the account that he used to be good, we're not gonna talk much about him. (we're also doing this for the sake of not getting ourselves maimed by the twohill cult extremists out there.)

category b:

Appearance: not really good
Skillz: yes

these people rely on their singing skills to stay in the competition, but sadly, they just don't have the looks. for example mathilda. she looks ordinary, if not a little plump. we're really worried if people like these get voted out just because more votes go to the worthless people like joakim. if so, then its really sad le la..

category c:

Appearance: very good
Skillz: very good


(blank)



category d:

Appearance: not so good
Skillz: not so good either...

these people really sad tragic de la! it'd be a miracle if they had somehow stayed in the competition. for example, the forgotten Norman Then. yeah, as his name suggests, he was then, and this is now. that sad guy got voted out in the first round. if i were him, i would have rather not joined the competition.

2. Talents? they are incredibly limited.

how do you extract talents from a country with a total population of 4 million, and an eligible population of roughly 1 million? (im not sure abt this. anyone wants to correct me?) (and out of this number of people, only a few thousand went for the auditions... )

...chances are that you can't. so essentially the aim of this competition is just to find the best of the not-that-good. which, obviously, is not a very good idea.

and, of course, you have bands like jimmy eat world. what are the singapore idol contestants when compared to these good singers? go figure it out.

well, now I know why jimmy eat world ain't a singapore band. (YES, THEY ARE NOT A SINGAPORE BAND.)

3. the judges

sometimes the judges just give the most impossible comments. for example,

singer: im am singing horribly off tune, really off tune, really off tune, yeah!---

judges: what a marvelous rendition of that song! i really loved it! i think you are most suited to perform this genre of music! Keep up the good work! See you in the finals!

Well here's the thing. These 'singapore idols' end up earning their income from endorsing companies such as slimming centres, toothpaste companies and of course who could forget our 7-11 idol? Taufik Batisah, our 7-11 idol!

Apparently he spends more time at 7-11 than he does at a recording studio.

4. the deluded teenagers with their handphones

it gets worse when it comes to voting. teenage girls go for the "hot guys", and just cant help sending text messages to support them. in case you didnt know, each sms costs S$0.60.

the end result:

Singapore Idol: gets a contract with some recording company. he/she is happy.

Teenage girls: EITHER happy that the hottest guy won, OR resent the fact that even though theyve sent a few hundred messages, the hottest guy didnt win.

People like us: lament about the tragedy.

Corporate leaders at Singtel and Mediacorp: have to be rushed to the clinic, suffering from strokes, or dislocated jaws due to excessive laughter. because they just cant believe how naive teenage girls are to have made them insta-rich.

Conclusion:
Singapore Idol is screwed up. and who benefits the most from it? Corporate leaders, polititicians; Kids can't vote, adults elect them.

Except that kids can vote for singapore idol.

And of course, maybe 7-11 will get a new face.

special guest poster - darth honsum: X & Y - The biggest difference in the species of mankind

In conjunction with IS2107 (Genes and Life) and the recent mutation of wolverong, I have decided to write about the greatest difference in the species of mankind, the X and Y chromosome.

So we all know that guys are guys because of the 23rd pair of chromosome being X-Y, while girls are girls have a X-X pair. Recent observations around the IP level have shed some new light into why girls are just girls, while guys are (still) guys. (in case some have already been eradicated or endangered)

Difference 1: Handwriting
Have you guys (this means everyone) noticed that girls tend to have better handwriting skills? In terms of style and consistency, there is no way that guys can be better. However, do note the definition of handwriting skills can be like… writing the letter “a” like “d”, “u” like “y”. Sometimes, you will find them write so small or (words) so close that you might need a magnifying glass to read it easier.

Difference 2: Decisiveness
Have you guys noticed that girls sometimes tend to be less decisive as guys? There was an outing that me and xd went, and we end up buying some snacks at old chang kee before we get starved by girls who cannot decide where to eat!
1: “let's go Swenson!”
2: “too ex leh”
1: “let's go pastamania”
2: “portion too small larh” (apparently, small portions are not good for girls, too big also no good, funny philosophy of girls)
1(running low in ideas): “let’s go fish and co. !”
2: “HUH? We are at Somerset leh, not Dhoby Ghaut"
1 (quite pissed): “okay, let’s go to Macs…."
2: “SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FAT!!!” (But we still love having meetings at KAP for don’t-know what good reason)
1 & 2: “EH! Look at this restaurant… the food not bad leh. Quite Ex, but nevermind larh. Portion quite small… but got aircon wad. The Food shouldn’t be FAT lor hor, at most run more during PE lor”

Guys around: …….
[The end]
As you can see, the biggest difference between males and females all came from two letters… X&Y…
(Disclaimer: the above examples are JUST examples… not referring to every single girl in IP)

xd and Beanbag: Wolverong

The Top Secret Mutant Dossier

Subject: Wolverong

Height: taller than most of you, but 3 cm of his height is accounted for by his adamantium hair (more on that below).

Weight: = (mass)(g) = (60)(9.81) = 587 N (3 s.f.)

Nationality: Republic of PZR

Status in his Country: PRESIDENT (recall what he did during GC..)[Mutant statistics still unavailable]

Mutant abilities:

1. Flirts around with humans well, especially with IP1 girls. Capable of maintaining up to 10 conversations on msn using a special technique called "hahaing". Here's a piece of research material our scientists managed to acquire. It involves Wolverong using his special technique.

[wolverong] says: halo

girena says: hi.. oh mann today was totally awful.. my friend took my pen away without asking me for permission you now..

[wolverong] says: hahha

girena says: and then during my cca training rite, i fell and sprained my leg.. now its swollen..

[wolverong] says: hahahhaa

girena says: tired.. i think you are disgusting you noe..

[wolverong] says: hahahahah

girena says: can you stop saying haha?

[wolverong] says: wan go for movie tmr?


2. Razor sharp adamantium hair makes wolverong an excellent warrior. Not only his scalp hair is made of adamantium; the hair all over his body is, for example his leg hair.
Case study:Eng Wea Keng, a boy who was attacked by this mutant on the 5th of June last year, had to be rushed to the hospital, suffering serious incisions across his chest after the attack. According to the surgeon, the wounds went as deep as 2 inches. When interviewed, the shell-shocked boy said, "Wolverong.. damn imba. i only asked him if he did his differentiation tutorials, and the next thing i knew, he was lashing at me with his leg hair. and they were razor sharp." Wea Keng has never recovered from his grievous wounds, and still lies in the hospital bed presently.



Accounts from other survivors confirm that Wolverong's main weapon is his leg hair. However, there are some witnesses who claim that they saw Wolverong brushing his hand through is hair in a front-to-back motion. Reasons for this behavior is so far unexplained.


3. WTFBBQPWN regenerating ability renders him invulnerable to any form of damage. But since Wolverong is so imba, on very rare occasions is he hurt physically. However, there are countless times when Wolverong is hurt emotionally, for example, after being rejected by girls. When such a thing occurs, the regerative mechanism automatically kicks in, and heals whatever emotional damage that the girl dealt to him. Even when a girl gives him a fully-fledged insult which might force any other guy to commit suicide, Wolverong would spring back with frightening speed, ready to take on any new challenges (and new relationships).



In conclusion, Wolverong is a highly dangerous mutant, with even higher research value. It would be a service to mankind if we are able to hold him captive and dissect (metaphorically) him for technological research. Which is never possible, coz he's too imba...

xd: it is EXTREMELY VITAL that you read this if you are using any instant messengers.

the haha stalemate (i made up this name.)

alternative names: the lol/hahahha/hah/hey-heh/rofl/lmao/wth/wtf stalemate (this list is not exhaustive, as there are dunno thousands permutations for "h" and "a")

im sure you people have encountered a lot of haha stalemates before (just that you dont know how to call it), and found it unpleasant afterwards, as if you have serious communication problems or that you are drifting apart from the person youve just talked to.

but xd says, its just natural. :D (species: trioculus monomouthous supersmileous) the stalemate is caused by the natural human problem of anticipation. the anticipation of the other party to make a first move before you follow.

and its definitely not your communication problem, coz you know well that if the other party talks again you'll probably flood the whole window with your messages.

so what is a haha stalemate? here's an illustration (not from an actual conversation): <-- this is an accidenta frownus (an unintentional sad face)


i am person A says:
after that we had to go to coro to buy the stuff. and it cost us 20 bucks! i


am person A says:
wth..


i am person B says:
haha


(10 minutes later...)


last line in the conversation window:


i am person B says:
haha

somehow, instructed by an INCREDIBLY STRONG UNKNOWN SUPERNATURAL FORCE, none of either party is inclined to contribute more to the conversation.

im sure you'd feel extremely awkard after this.

Prevention methods:

1. try to force a new topic for discussion. (eg have you watched this movie yet?)
2. once you feel you have no ability to chat further, allow for a smooth "hey i gotta go now, goodnite!"
3. BUT THE MOST EFFECTIVE METHOD IS: STOP SAYING HAHA !!

i hope this chapter of "MSN conversation basics: peacefully maintaining a conversation online" has benefited you. we look forward to providing you with more insights on online chatting. thank you and have a nice day.

and a haha stalemate-free day too.

haha

I'm an Emo Kid.

Hello,
I'm kind of the n00b here because i kind of just joined...

so this is my first post.

HELLO!



Dear diary,

mood: disasterous.

I am repeatedly playing Kill and Work over and over again on my playlist.
Turns out Jimmy Eat World isn't a Singapore band.
It sucks 'cos they play some of my favourite songs like
Kill and
Work.




I'm kidding, i'm not emo.


on a random note, I'd like to congratulate Arsene Wenger's intelligence and Borussia Dortmund's retardedness. sucks to them, Arsenal roxxors and so does Tomas Rosicky.



National day holiday: what kind of holiday was yours? a few scenarios:


Scenario 1:

Wow! Celebrations ended early. I spent the afternoon researching on my Humans, Language Arts, Bio and Chemistry projects. What a relief!
I spent the rest of my free time reading "The crucible". It's a great book, really! I can't WAIT to meet my project groups over the next 2 days. The very thought of coming together as a group to do projects just EXCITES me!

When should i mug for differentiation and complete my physics assignment? What about my MI paper? Nevermind, I've probably done all of those already! Time to kick back, relax and mug for the interim test for P&C!


sucks to you if you're in scenario 1.

Scenario 2:

DAMN CB LAH the STDs are damn disgusting! UGH i hate the crucible. what a boring book. i shall go burn it later.

MI paper topics damn hard! SIANX DE LA.
Later still have to meet for Geog project, LA project, Chem project, Bio poster. On top of that, i have to finish my elective homework!

No time to blog. Another day!


Sucks to you if yours was like that too.

Scenario 3:

You sucker. I think you crazy.

Holidays are for going out!

Sorry, no time to blog. Going out to meet BRB, then having lunch with AFK, movie with GTG, dinner with TTYL and LAN with KNN,BB and CCB!



haha. scenario 3 knows how to have fun.




On another note, I'd like to add on on Xd's haha stalemate.



余文聪
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　boredlela.blogspot.com成员
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　长颈路96号
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　新加坡邮区667788


(Insert any random name here)
Hillcrest 路 37 号
新加坡邮区288913

XX:

邀请：参加"haha stalemate"纠正运动

　　你好。我是来自国家初级学院的一个学生，我写这封信的目的是来邀请大家参加我们"boredlela.blogspot.com"举办的"haha stalemate"纠正运动。

　　我认为大家在利用"MSN messenger"是，通常用"haha"来表达他们的兴奋。我不反对他们这样作，但是他们后来就不type了。不是说"haha"会把你变成retarded呢？

　　所以，我们就举办这个纠正运动来帮助大家，避免他们变成retarded的人。

　　我知道我们这样做是很伟大，但是你不用这么感激，我们只是doing our job而已。

　　我希望全世界会参加我们的运动，及时避免他们变成retarded的毛病。

　　谢谢。


　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　文聪启
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　2006年8月13日



Do your part! Don't type "haha" in conversations anymore!

haha.

Beanbag: liquidgeneration

http://www.liquidgeneration.com
They have a few interesting quiz-tests here.
Apparently, i'm an R2-D2, among other things.

xd: emo on national day

dear diary,

mood: paranoid

i have my worries. i guess we all do.

a recent series of events triggered this consortium of worries. they had surfaced once, but burrowed themselves within me shortly after. until now, they have been hiding, lying dormant somewhere in my subconsiousness. waiting. waiting for a chance for a second strike.

and once again, im haunted.

it started after the job planning exercise. subtly, they had awakened, but their movements hardly detectable to my dulled senses. then came the chinese test. by then, they had fully formed their ranks. preparing for the imminent strike. and today. a seemingly normal conservation struck me unexpectedly hard. jem had asked, "why not train your chinese?"

they seized the opportunity well. with frightening speed and intensity, they launched their assault, tearing my inner world into chaos.

they are triumphing. i can hear their mockery, their laughs.

they watch how i shrivel with fright.

im worried about my future. im uncertain whether i would do well for the o levels. and im terrified by how little i have done. how unskilled i am.

and they now tell me about my future.

after the o levels, i would become a jc student, troubled by the a levels. after graduation it would be a tough 2 years in the military. next comes university. then work. id raise a family, and age with time. soon a watch wouldnt be necessary. the sun's position would suffice. then, even the sun wouldnt be necessary. a calendar would be all that's required. id watch my kids grow, and they would watch me wither with age. time goes on, and the expiry date draws near...

haha..

in the end nothing matters. what for being so worried? that's life for you, and rejoice that youre not an animal or a starving kid in some third world country. be content with what you have.

so they arent my enemies. they are part of me. no. i am part of them. so i turn away, and, with equanimity, i drift into their company...

xd and Beanbag: very bored on national day eve

newspaper report (报章报道): 年轻人 nowadays have little national pride 比较 to the 前一辈。 试谈谈your的看法。

读了这篇报导，我百感交集。我觉得， 作为任何一个国家的人, 最基本的，就是要尊敬自己的国家，并且热爱她，为她付出一切，因为只有这样才能have world peace的。想想看，如果每个人都不爱祖国，以一种自私的态度面对任何事，这世界还会美好吗？(actually yeah)

说个故事给你听吧。 从前，有一个singapore人，名叫嬲rong。他出国留学。有一天，跟同学交流的时候，被friend问道：
“Are you singapore人？”
“去死吧！”
“WTF？！”
“dees guy ah.. full of cock, man!”
然后，他死了。

这故事说明了什么道理呢？我们应该爱国！

中耳炎之，我们应该从那singapore人的故事吸取教训，不不爱国。所以，我认为新加坡年轻人应该热爱祖国！

Beanbag: post 1

I was supposed to add a tagboard and maybe change the template abit.

*supposed to* :D that's a monomouthus supersmileophus (more on that some other time)

Now there's this ever-increasing homework list that i have on my desktop, and at least I've cleared one item out - physics assignment.

Currently bogged down with LA, but enjoying it. Photoshopping poor people and cars.

xd: post 1

on impulse, i created this blog with kaisheng.

i guess i'm just seriously bored. nothing better to do. probably infected by johnson's "im stuck in a hostel, cant surf the net coz some administration buggers persistently fail to realise the apocalyptic effects on teenagers of not restoring the internet browser, cant sustain a conversation with my roommates for more than 5 minutes, and im just entrenched in deadly boredom" attitude.

i would love to write about how life really sucks these days {relative to life in obs [im sure everyone would feel the same (most of you, actually.)]}, but that's not the point of this blog. the point of this blog is... well, for me, its an avenue to communicate the people ive never talked to and will probably never talk to online, for example... that kid who lives on a farm with his two sisters, a brother and his parents in san francisco, california. and, of course, to relieve my boredom.

actually this blog is also sort of inspired by the blog that belongs to the 2 vjc guys, john and denys. fauxnatism.blogspot.com if im not wrong. those guys are really imba. great blog they maintain over there. and anw, kaisheng and i would try our best to do something like that.

oh and speaking of that, some of you may want to join this blog. for fun. well, maybe youre the johnson kind of person who would now and then like to express yourself but dont want to have your own blog coz its tedious work.

Well, if you would want to sign up for this, please mail your name, NRIC number, and personal particulars to the following address:

20 Farrer Road, Mediacorp Studios, Singapore 31337

Submission deadline: 30 September 2006. Each mail costs $0.60. kids below 18 should seek parents' permission.

jk. lame ar? anyway, if you are interested, just tag the tagboard and we'll give you the username and password.

update: sorry, we cant let any more people join our blogging team alr. too many administrators would just mess up the blog. even if you dont intend to :( but good news is, you can still contribute to the blog by sending anyone of us your entries. we'd be more than pleased to help you post it on this blog. heh. write anything you want :) -xd

haha. ive just finished the first post. feel so much better now that ive got something meaningful to spend my time on. gtg le. bb.