a typical post

the man in the video in one of the CAAL sessions was being absolutely typical. when asked to comment on children with disabilities working to earn their worth by making handicraft-like stuff, the 30-odd executive (yet another office worker in singapore's bottomless pool) commented,

"this goes to show that the disabled are capable, and with determination and hard work, anything is possible."

if there's an A level subject called typical response, cambridge markers would have been shocked at the degree of proficiency this guy has. well, then again, singaporean students would ace the subject along with him.

this reminds me of the time we went to that basketball match between singapore slingers and some random australian team. what was devastating was that, throughout the whole match, the commentator alternated between these words: "BIG D", "DEFENCE", "STRONG D". never mind his rudeness towards the away team. his lack of variety is enough to piss anyone off.

next time, they might as well use a computer comment generator. just type your keywords, press enter, and let the computer give the comments through the speakers. now computer technology is quite advanced in commentating, i must comment. colin's whatever soccer game is able to give realistic responses to different moves in the field. which i found amazing, apparently. (thought you should know)

what i derive from the above observations is that singaporeans lack variety. probably good humour too. i cant understand why people laugh at the really dammit-its-just-not-funny jokes. like, for example,

context: someone mispronounced geography into geomancy.

"funny" response: its geography, not geomancy! geomancy is this *bends arms so they're parallel to the floor, looks at the arms and spins around* (as in looking at 八卦 action)

i swear, if you find that funny, i'll give you like, my monthly allowance.

one of the reasons why i do boredlela is to fight a proxy against such bland, what-the-hell humor. variety and creativity seems to be dying in our community.

come on, people, the next time you speak, after judging whether it is a sensitive remark, also consider whether its a creative remark. typical response is not an A level subject; GP is.

now, you might wonder what i'd say if i were that executive. its this:

" - "

see you at talentime 2008.

语文点滴 --- 第一课

hi guys; 大家好!

welcome to our very first language reimaging programme. this programme is aimed at creating better language habits for our singaporean students, in order for our future generation to perform well in dealing with the chinese from the republic of china.

in today's lesson, we aim to help our readers kick the habit of using this terrid (horrid + terrible = terrid) word:








liddat.







what the hell does this word anyway? a quick check in the dictionary tells you there's no such word. in a singaporean context, this word is derived from a poor pronounciation of "like that", which in turn is derived from the chinese word 一样.

hence our grand suggestion for this week's lesson is: to use the beautiful synonyms of 一样!

there are lots of such words: 如，似乎，~然，仿佛，犹如，一般。

instead of:

he like damn angry liddat leh!

why not:

he 似乎很 angry.

instead of:

he's like an idiot liddat leh he.

why not:

he 仿佛 idiot 一般.

instead of:

you dont liddat leh!

why not:

you dont 如此放肆!

that's all for our lesson today. we hope you would take the effort to incorporate this into your daily lives, 就如我一样。

Things to note in the year 2008

While I'm chionging my last minute homework (I.E. GP articles, grammar book, whats left of the 26 pages of maths(which is quite alot), chem stuff ARGH, three quarters of the physics homework), I got bored so yup here's an entry, but don't expect much of it haha.


Things to note in the year 2008.

1. Don't use toilet bowl, if the lid is down.

Why? From experience, after you open the lid, the rest of the toilet is engulfed in what you call, 'tear gas' (just brings tears to your eyes). Under that lid is probably someone's poop remains, so don't lift the lid. BAD BAD idea.

2. Don't shake hands with a guy whose shirt is tucked in ALL THE WAY.

Why? Well simple. It probably means he just took a poop. There is simply no other logical reason why someone's shirt would be tucked in all the way. Unless you want me to start jeopardizing our foreign relation policies.

3. Don't pon math lecture.

Me, XD, Gen and Wilbert got screwed for just being late last year. Imagine if you pon. Wah GG sia. Next test will have university content included.

4. Tell your teacher that you have 'important lesson' during the lunch periods on Wednesdays.

Well, this worked for Johnson and I. Ms. Wong eventually gave up and let us go off on time to run down and buy chicken cutlet. When I say run I really mean we ran.

5. When buying chicken cutlet, make sure you're queuing way in front of Wilbert.

Wilbert, it seems, marks the end of the queue because after he queues, the queue doesn't grow in length, it just grows sideways. So if you're behind him, you're screwed. No choice but dar bao, or gobble down your cutlet.

6. Be a friend of Softball.

Yup, privileges include Captain's surprise (Jem's treat, whether willing or not), and trips to Mt. Sinai. Also, you will have abs of steel. Thanks coach.

7. Cut your hair before school starts.

Sigh. Need I say more?

8. Get silver or above for napfa.

Simple. Don't want to go army 2 months early.

9. Wash your hands after a trip to the washroom.

Wash with soap if possible, especially after a poop. Nobody likes secret ingredients in their food during lunchtime.

10. STUDY.

Don't want to screw up A levels. Simple. Study!


Happy 2008. Haha told you not to expect too much from this post.