xd: LANshop Royale (Part II)

LANshop Royale (Part II)

Scene 4

About an hour later, every player has gathered back at LAN gaming centre.

LANshop owner: Gentlemen, welcome back. Now if everyone is ready, we can begin the final match early.

Some random player: WAIT WAIT! I need to… I need to check maplesea forums for something first.

LANshop owner: Wah you play maplestory too? What’s your name? I got a level 87 sin in bootes leh. Let’s party some day.

Everyone else: …

5 minutes later

LANshop owner: Okay, gentlemen, this match will be –ar (allrandom) match. Since we are playing a gamble, we might as well leave our hero selection to chance. Now, please place your bets.

James Phua takes out everything in his wallet and places it on the table. $87.

LANshop owner: Interesting. Mr Phua has chosen to bet all that he has left. As a rule, we have to follow suit.

A lot of players grumble as they reluctantly placed their bets.

LANshop owner (whispering to James Phua): What a dangerous move, Mr Phua. Think you can beat me?

James Phua (in a whisper): We’ll see soon enough.

*Game starts*

25 minutes into the game:

James Phua: OMG I’m being poisoned!

Agency operator through ear com: What? You’re being poisoned?

James Phua: YEAH I’M GOING TO DIE!

Agency operator through ear com: Ok, Mr Phua, stay calm! Listen to my instructions.

James Phua: OKAY. Okay.

Agency operator through ear com: Now, how do you feel? Which part of you is being poisoned?

James Phua: HOW I KNOW? My heart is beating very fast sia.

Agency operator through ear com: Okay. We need to identify what kind of poison it is. Go take a chemical sensor and insert its needle into your vein.

James Phua: HUH? Dunneed la. I know what poison it is.

Agency operator through ear com: WHAT IS IT?

James Phua: Viper Strike poison lor. 100 damage per second for dunno how many seconds.

Agency operator through ear com: Viper poison? WOW. Using snakes! They are vicious. Now control your breathing, and for the antidote, just a second…

James Phua: No need le. I heal finish le. Lucky I made it to the fountain in time. haha.

Agency operator through ear com: CHEY! YOUR GAME CHARACTER GOT POISONED ONLY! WAHLAO.

James Phua: It’s called a hero la haha.

Agency operator through ear com: WHATEVER.

Meanwhile,

LANshop owner (cursing to himself in a voice inaudible to other players): DAMN. WHY ARE MY MAPHACKS NOT WORKING? THEY ALWAYS KNOW! If this goes on I’ll get less than 10 kills!

30 minutes later

The Scourge has won! Check www.getdota.com for updates.

James Phua: Gay shit, I PWN YOU! I’ve got 20 kills, and you only have 7. Now you GG.

LANshop owner is stunned.

James Phua leaves the scene with a whole bag of banknotes.

Scene 5

James Phua and some IP1 girl are in a hotel diner enjoying a meal together.

Some IP1 girl: You did great! How did you counter his cheating program?

James Phua: HAHAHA I pro wad.

Some IP1 girl: Right.

James Phua: K la I tell you why. I SCREENED HIM.

Some IP1 girl: Screen? But you were sitting right opposite him!

James Phua: Yeah la. See, I used my poser specs and put them at an angle on the desk so that I can see his monitor. That bastard was too intent on maphacking to notice it. So wherever he goes I used minimap signal to warn my allies. And as for killing, I was very lucky to have randomed Bloodseeker. It’s an ownage hero killer. And most of all, I’m PRO!

Some IP1 girl: Hur hur. I’m going home now. Good night.

IP1 girl leaves.

James Phua: I have a bad feeling about this. I think I’d better follow her.

James Phua runs outside the hotel just in time to see the girl being dragged away by some men onto a car.

James Phua: SHIT.

James Phua runs to his car, fumbles with his keys, and suddenly he gets hit heavily on the back of his neck, passing out instantly.

Scene 6

James Phua and the IP1 girl wake up to find themselves in a run-down house. Standing in front of them is none other than the LAN shop owner.

LANshop owner: Mr Phua, let me make it simple. Give me the money, or I’ll taupok you.

James Phua: I will NEVER give you the money, you cb.

LANshop owner: Fine. Men, bring this girl away, and then hold Mr Phua down so I can taupok him.

The IP1 girl gets dragged away. She screams desperately.

James Phua (to the IP1 girl): I’ll be fine! Don’t worry about me!

*Door slams as the girl gets brought into another room*

LANshop owner: So, Mr Phua, are you giving me the money?

James Phua: NO!

LANshop owner: Fine. TAUPOK!!! TAUPOKTAUPOKTAUPOK!!!!

James Phua: Noooooo! Arrrrhrrrhgghghghhhh…!

10 minutes later

LANshop owner (panting): Still not giving me the money?

James Phua: NEVER.

LANshop owner: Fine. Then I’ll hump you.

*with a devious grin, we walks closer to the tied-up James Phua*

Suddenly gunshots were heard from the IP1 girl’s room. Immediately, the door bursts open, and a guy appeared. He shoots at the LANshop owner, who dies immediately from a headshot.

James Phua: Who’s that?

Assassin: Eh wassup its me yo! *he does a weird humping action*

James Phua: BENJAMIN CHUA! WAH. How did you make your way here?

Ben Chua: I followed the scent.

James Phua: What scent?

Ben Chua: Your girl’s scent! I’m able to detect every single female creature within a 10-mile radius, didn’t you know? Your girl’s scent was particularly… enticing. *humps more and makes some weird noise* hahahaha

James Phua: OH MY GAWD… BEN CHUA! Stop being horny!

Ben Chua: HAHHAA! C’mon, let’s go. I’ve got to go Orchard to spot some more hot girls mann!

James Phua: hahaahaha okay la on!

IP1 girl: Eh what about me? Eh eh eh…

END =D

xd: LANshop Royale (Part I)

(hooray for my awesome photoshop skills.)

James Phua: LANshop Royale (Part I)

Narrator: Every man has a story. Every story has a beginning. In LANshop Royale, Phua, the man who has become nothing less than a legend among the IP population, embarks on his first job as a one double three seven (1337) agent.

Scene 1:

Sengkang, Singapore.

Phua is on his customized computer, conversing with M, his superior, using MSN messenger.

Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart says:
eh halo.. got any mission for me anot?

M says:
Hi Mr Phua. But first of all, know that promoting you to a One Double Three Seven agent doesn’t mean you can add me on msn and talk to me like this.

Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart says:
ahahaha whatever la. so got mission for me?

M says:
Yes. There’s this guy who owns a lanshop, and he challenges his customers to 5v5 DotA often. They play a simple gamble. Players place their stakes, and winner takes all. However, our sources tell us that the owner of the lanshop has never lost a game since his lanshop opened. He had played at least 200 such gambles since then. The issue is that apparently he uses the money he wins to fund international terrorists.

Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart says:
lol

Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart says:
wait wait. how can he win 5v5 dota by himself?

M says:
Well, the one who gets the most kills win.

Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart says:
hahahaahah wah liddat also can ah? so my mission is to stop him issit?

M says:
Yes. Your task will be to challenge and beat him at his game, since youre the one who’s most proficient at the game here at the agency. You will be provided with $107 for the stakes. Additional $7 because GST has increased to 7% now.

Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart says:
hahahahaha ok la on la!

M says:
By the way, get a laptop. The agency can’t afford to lose face because one of our 1337 agents owns only a desktop.

Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart says:
haha no nid la.. my desktop super gay de.. got 1 gig ram sia.. and only cost 1k! hey-heh! hey-heh!

Scene 2:

Somerset, Singapore

James Phua reaches the LAN gaming centre in cineleisure. Most players have reached the venue already, and the games are about to start.

LANshop owner: Ah, Mr Phua! My name is Shitte Gei. People call me Gay Shit here. HAHA! Come, have a seat.

James Phua: Pleasure. I guess I’m really fortunate to be able to play a game with someone as charming and well-respected as you. Now if you excuse me. (Phua walks to talk a seat in front of a computer)

5 minutes later

LANshop owner: Now let the games begin! Players, please place your bets.

Phua takes out $20 from his wallet and put it on the betting table.

LANshop owner: Ok, I’ll create the game now. It would be an –ap match. No leavers allowed.

5 minutes into the game

FIRST BLOOD!

James Phua: “OEI… KS.. asshole la you..”

10 minutes into the game

James Phua: “WAH SHIT! TYCO! I only 5 HP left and I escape! Hey-heh! Hey- *Our hero has been killed!* … WTF clinkz windwalk! OMG I died! noonnNOo…”

50 minutes into the game:

*The Sentinel has won the game! Check www.getdota.com for updates*

LANshop owner: Very obviously, I have won with 17 kills. Mr Phua is quite impressive too, but most unfortunately he has only got 14 kills. We will RM in an hour. Please hang around until then.

10 minutes after the match, James Phua and... some IP1 girl are at a quiet place, talking.

IP1 girl: You have lost.

James Phua: I know la! But you know why anot? He maphack. He sure maphack one. With "Darwin" Sniper he cant assassinate me without using a maphack. I was like so far away, and there was fog of war! Damn cb la.

IP1 girl: I don't care (as much as I don't understand what you're saying.) You know what's your problem? It's your ego. You always say “can de la!” but you end up saying “aiya… today not on form la… cmi.”or just give some shitty excuse like the one you just gave. Listen. You play again, you lose, and we're giving free money to terrorists who will bomb our MRTs with suspicious articles.

James Phua: No I won’t. I promise. I know how to counter his maphacks…

And so how exactly does James Phua counters his gruesomely powerful enemy who uses a cheating program? Stay tuned for Part II.

Youtube: PMS Survival Tips

ROFL.

xd: holiday woes

holidays. omgwtfbbq damnnnnn SIBEI sian.

so sian that i can eat a cow. damnnnnnzzzxxzxxzxz.

guess what, now i even find public transport rides interesting. observing how people behave in enclosed crowded areas with seats is more fun than you expect.

from constant observation, there are certain rules LAWS to take note of while boarding a public transport that are unannounced but acknowkedged island-wide. here they are.



1. if there is a 2-man seat that's occupied by one person and another seat that's totally unoccupied, always take that unoccupied seat. (applies only for S.B.S. (Si Bei Sian)* buses.)

Diagram:





reasons explaining such behavior:

a) the person occupying that seat might think that youve got some unknown business with him/her if you choose to take a seat beside him/her when there's a totally empty seat. to prevent this, take that damned empty seat!

b) strangers are arbituarily unclean, and whenever and wherever possible, don't sit next to them.

c) singapore's people are shell-shocked by their secondary school chemistry education, so much that they believe people are electrons and seats are orbitals. so in order to prevent repulsion which results in a lower ionisation energy and increased unstability, always enter an empty orbital. =D



2. whenever youre sharing a seat with some other stranger and another person leaves his seat leaving behind an empty seat, always move to that empty seat (also for buses).

Diagram:





reasons explaining such behavior:

a) and b) are same as above.

c) singaporeans believe that it is wrong for an electron to be removed from a half-filled orbital rather than from a full one. but what happens on the bus contradicts this knowledge, creating extreme confusion and pandemonium within their minds. so as a corrective response, he moves to the empty seat. i mean orbital.



3. on a crowded bus/mrt (seats are full and there are people standing,) whenever there is an empty seat right in front of you (provided that you are standing,) regardless of it being half-occupied or not, always take it.

reasons explaining such behavior:

a) since you are the person closest to the seat, you are entitled to it. another person who's near you wont want to take it out of courtesy because he acknowledges this fact. if you dont take the seat, the seat will always be empty, and that's... retarded.

b) if you dont take the seat when you can, the person who occupies half the seat will feel insulted. because he knows for some reason you don't want to sit with him, probably because you think he's unclean/in a lower social class than you, and because youre elitist you dont want to sit with him/smelly/fat/ugly/etc...

c) the standing people are a sea of delocalised electrons. when there is a half-filled orbital, a delocalised electron must fill that orbital.



4. if a pregnant lady/senior citizen/etc. comes on board the bus/mrt, pretend to sleep. (this is pretty much covered by others already. so no point explaining.)



5. NEVER talk to anyone on the bus/mrt who isnt your friend.

reasons explaining such behavior:

a) the bus is a conducive place for learning. nobody shall disturb the peace. at all times, the bus/mrt shall be unnaturally quiet.

b) people might just think youre a suspicious article, and inform the staff of your presense or call 999.

c) electrons don't talk.

PS: kaisheng or ernest if you wanna edit this go ahead. add your name to the title.

* got this from talkingcock.com's dictionary. lol!

Darth Honsum: Egoism in communication with the opposite sex

(Darth Honsum is Jason Ho. xd is here to help him post.)

This can be quite an emo post… depending on what you classify something as emo…

Given that this article seems to be putting too much focus on Zhirong, please substitute all the “Zhirong”s to “Zhirong and Zhirong-wannabes”

Is saying something to a girl really THAT difficult? (This goes out to guys, but it may be vice-versa for girls too). Asking a girl out is really a BIG task or maybe even a project; sometimes it might even require additional adrenaline just to keep us from getting a cardiac arrest. Of course, Zhirong may have found this practice as easy as playing Dota (and thrashing everyone just to prove that he is IMBA).

I’m always curious to know why guys and girls are just like like-poles; they repel. Technically and traditionally guys are supposed to be to gracious, generous, open-minded, gentlemen-ly (pardon me for my usage of vocabulary) people to ask girls out. But what makes a guy hold back in asking a girl out when he really wants to ask a girl out.

1 - Some guys may just really lack the guts (perhaps they are not in IP), have high tendency to faint even before walking up to the girl and say HI!

2 - Do guys really lack the guts to ask, or it’s just to people around him making him shy? Imagine when Zhirong ask a girl out, the whole world will be talking about “OMG! Zhirong is hitting on that XXXX girl from 05IPXX (or 07Sxx / 07Axx in the future)”. Now I’m not hired as the defense lawyer for Zhirong’s ego, but why would you care if Zhirong really ask that girl out? Will that girl get so traumatized that she decides to ask Osama for help and become a terrorist to bomb down to school? Calculate the probabilities guys…

3 - Perhaps some girls are just really hard nuts, really hard to crack them. Perhaps they don’t even give you the chance to crack them! The girl may just hide herself even when you had caught a glimpse of her from a distance. HELLO?! Is the guy going to come up to you and eat you up? No right (since he has the intentions to ask you out)? Now I see this happen before, and I guess that guy might have been really hurt if he finds out that the girl “makes an effort” to avoid him

(from what I saw)

Guy A was chatting with a group of people, which includes Girl A. Girl A is a friend of Girl B, whom Guy A has some** intentions just ** to “get to know her better” or just same something to her like “good morning”. Girl B walked in, and of course walked away from the crowd to another corner. Girl A and B has some stuff to do and have to leave already. And Girl B took out her handphone and smsed Girl A to leave the group. Why couldn’t she just walk up and give Girl A a tap and just leave together? We know sms are cheap things…. but do people REALLY have to go to such extent in trying to avoid someone?

(Above analysis of the situation is my own opinion, there might be some other reasons which I don’t know that accounts for such incident. If it resembles any real life even that has happened to you before, its just pure coincidence)

Talking about communicating with girls, I just knew this guy yesterday and it is the first time in my life (not from TV) that I hear a guy asking a girl if she wants to be sent home or not.

Moreover, this guy takes MRT of a different direction to get home! I really admire this guy for having the guts to ask this, though he “explained” his intentions were merely influenced by the British chivalry and gentlemanliness that James Bond has after watching the movie Casino Royale. And because I admired his guts, I even told him that he can take bus 105 to orchard to change to another bus or take 166 back to Novena from Clementi. It sounds like a perfect excuse, but nevertheless please give some applause for asking this.

Now you may say, “Zhirong more or less have bigger guts than this guy (given that he has the guts to go around and ask how much does bikini costs), he should have no problem in asking the same question, without being inspired by the British chivalry and gentlemanliness that James Bond has.” (You can’t imagine Zhirong being British in the first place… it would be SO out of the world… so don’t imagine) But one thing you can imagine is that if a girl lives at Boon Lay, Zhirong might just “mildly force” himself to send the girl home.

“Aiyah, nevermind lah, I don’t have curfew, very fast one lah... from Boon Lay to Sengkang is just 30 minutes. Hehe.”

Most probably, at 11pm, Zhirong might still be on NEL.

Well … Zhirong has this special bladder in his body apart from gall bladder and urinary bladder that stores his ego and releases it very frequently and never seems to run out of it, you can really say this bladder of his might be larger than his brain, but sometimes you just have to bow down and be impressed by guts that he has. (i.e [Ego] x [K] = [guts], where K is a constant dependent on which girl he is hitting on)Perhaps, he just needs the some enzyme or hormones in his body to produce some sort of negative-feedback to restrict production of such ego and release it when the time is REALLY REALLY REALLY ripe. OR… he should study more on the concept of limits; there are really certain limitations in real life that Zhirong has to know, this is freaking note Dota where he can just be as IMBA as he can.

Polaris: really bored le la.

Yep I was kinda bored so I decided to write this boliao song to the tune of 'When you're looking like that' by Westlife. Enjoy!


This is a song about a soccer team manager's woes, haha.

He's a 5 foot 10 in jumpsuit and muscle thighs
Everybody's who's staring wouldn't believe that he's number nine
I should have know I was wrong
When I left them for the job at City
But they say you never miss the water until it's gone
Guess I failed to train you
And you're left on the bench tonight

How am I supposed to leave you now
When you're playing like that
I can't believe that goal we gave away
That stupid centre-back
I don't wanna lose my job
I don't wanna lose that sponsorship deal
How am I supposed to leave you now
When you're playing like that

They're all dressed up for Chelsea and PSV
Wanna beat relegation get out of this zone
If only I could take control
Champion's league's out of my reach forever
And just a week ago we beat Stoke City
It's so ironic how I had to lose just
To see

That I failed to train you
And you're subbed off the match tonight

How am I supposed to leave you now
When you're playing like that
I can't believe the goal we gave away
I'm gonna get the sack
I don't wanna lose my job
I don't wanna live my life in poverty

How am I supposed to leave you now
When you're playing like that

I don't want a 4-4-2
I don't even wanna try
How am I supposed to walk on by when you're playing like that

How am I supposed to leave you now
I can't believe that goal we gave away gave away (oh no)
You stupid centre-back
I don't want another loss
I don't wanna field a team without you

How am I supposed to leave you now
When you're playing like that

How am I supposed to leave you now
When you're playing like that
I can't believe the goal we gave away
Now I will get the sack

I don't wanna be the boss
I don't wanna live a life in football
How am I supposed to leave you now
When you're playing like that
[x2]




Yup. You guessed it, I'm just really, really bored.

xd: ohfiveeyepeeohone

just visited ohfiveeyepeeohone.blogspot.com

apparently its some class-commemoration blog created/maintained by 3 of my classmates, jay, gimlim, and peixin.

the blog is entitled "y'all 05ip01 chronicles". how very ironic, don't you think?

coz 05ip01 was never really a class. its more like a collection of cliques. we started just like how the universe started according to the big bang theory. first there were particles floating in space, then they coalesced to form bigger particles, so on....

in the big bang theory these bigger particles attracted other particles and soon grew into big bodies. but the 05ip01 cliques didnt. these cliques hit each other at times, but they never coalesce.

sure, we have had experiences as a class sometimes, but other than that, are we really united? in class, you see people like elizabeth in a corner intently admiring her magical lyrical girl nanoha or whatever shit (which, sadly, is playing on channel u now as im writing this.) and then you see huizhennutaretha, gimlim and john at another corner talking about... whatever they like to talk about. next you'll see kwokie and i doing weird stuff. if you turn around now, you'll see the most horrific sight: SHIHUI GIVING YOU A RETARDED EXPRESSION. RIGHT IN YOUR FACE. dotzzzzz.

and isnt the creation of a recollections blog like ohfiveeyepeeohone a little belated? its just the same stupid human problem: appreciating something only when its too late. damn lame can?

so to all the kids out there, please, dont make this same mistake again when you enter jc. dont hold on too strongly to the memories of ip. not that you shouldnt at all. my point is that we should instead concentrate how to live our jc life to the fullest. if we persist on reliving ip life in jc, it would only bring us unhappiness and... pain. and at the end, we'll probably look back and regret, which is... very dumb.

xd: life's tragic moments.

instead of a boredlela post, this will be a sadlela post.

as some of you have already known (because i told screamed to you,) something tragic happened to jade and i on the first night of the chalet.

(PLEASE, bored and sick people, interpret the above sentence the CORRECT way.)

let's recount what happened.





Day 1, 5.45 pm

i got off the mrt at tanah merah, feeling incredibly relieved that i actually made it on time. that gave me 15 mins time before the shuttle bus was supposed to arrive. then i made my way to the taxi stand where the bus was supposed to arrive at.

Day 1, 5.50 pm

i saw jade at the bus stop near my location, and went over to say hi.

me: "hi."
jade: "hi."

after some communication, we decided to WALK to the place, coz we didnt know if the bus was going to come or not. hello? like there were no signs, no guides, and no one else we knew. plus, being VERY SMART, i checked up the street directory earlier to find the location of the place. so i was like, "hey-heh! hey-heh! i noe whr it is de. just walk straight and follow the river then can le. trust me, im damn pro de la.. dun nid shuttle bus also can de."

BUT so unrivalled my smartness was, i found the wrong damned place. like getting bounty hunter to track a dopplewalk image.

Day 1, 5.53pm to 6.30pm

WE WALKED. AND WALKED. AND WALKED. follow the red dotted line on the map above to know where we tracked through.

(now that i think of it, jade was actually really 听话; she entrusted her LIFE to me. and when i screwed up, she didnt kill me or anything. that's really admirable. thank you jade. though i dont think you should do that in the future =P)

ultimately, we ended up at laguna golf course, with a fence blocking our way. AND beyond the fence was the EAST COAST PARKWAY. how ingenious. an excellent plot twist.

luckily, i started calling ppl like kaisheng and shihui. i shouted out very loud into the phone, and that attracted the attention of a very nice couple who turned out to be our saviors. (heh so even though the people i called didnt offer much help other than some bewildered huh??'s, calling indirectly saved our lives. that's why you should always pick up a phone to call whenever youre lost and in a good-game situation.)

after a brief conversation with our holy saviors, they knew we GG-ed, and we knew they were on their way home after a golf game, and they could give us a ride. HAPPY LIFE!!

Day 1, 6.50pm

at this point, we arrived at the location where i thought the chalet was. NATIONAL SAILING CENTRE. i thought that was it, because a) the name sounds like so similar. NSC and NSRCC. b) they were both beside a river, and a landmark is sth we use to find places using a map. obs knowledge! (-.-")

anyway, i suddenly remembered it was called NSRCC, so i told them. oh and hey, that sudden remembering shocked me. it was as if some divine being pressed a button to activate that memory. really cool. i just instantly remembered. (okay, if i were a Christian i'd probably say "God gave me a miracle! Praise the Lord!")

BUT to the couple, it was like HOLY SHIT. coz we came in from the ECP, and it was ONE-WAY. to reach NSRCC we had to turn back. and it wasnt funny. they had to drive all the way out of ECP and make a huge U-turn. and guess what, they passed their house on the way. o.O

Day 1, 7.03pm

we finally arrived at the chalet. woohoo? no. not yet. i had to switch to my very-embarrassed-and-sorry-boy mode to sincerely thank the couple. which they deserved.

***

one chinese cheng yu to describe the ordeal: 弄巧成拙

xd: 理解问答年终考题

ip life. the real part of it is regretfully over. like jason said, no more group projects, no more poster creating, no more fun lab experiments, and, no more class participation.

we used to begrudge how the endless projects and assignments make us "stressed" kids. we used to complain about how unnecessary it is to take so many subjects that we'll probably not even touch again in our lives. we (ok, some of us) also used to get upset and cry over bad results along the ip corridor.

but that's passed. everything is a memory now. we'll move on, and never be able to experience this "childhood", no, "iphood" again. at least not like how we experienced it for the last 2 years.

jc. imagine being reduced to having a dingy cell that roughly measures 5m by 3m as a classroom. imagine having to listen to mainstream lecturers during lectures. imagine not being able to walk from class to class freely to talk to your friends during breaks. IMAGINE NOT BEING ABLE TO SEE ZHIRONG POSING AT 04 CORRIDOR.

this is the point of time in a movie (if this were a movie) when sad songs start playing in the background. like Hold On by Jet and Boston by Augustana. you can actually play it now while reading this post. to experience the melancholic effect.

此刻，我感到一种无法形容的伤感。好凄凉。是不舍得？还是消极，不敢面对新开始？难道这就是结局?

***

Q1. 为什么作者在第一段中使用 "regretfully"?
A. 因为他感到内疚。
B. 因为他感到不舍得。
C. 因为他是个乱用字的白痴。
D. 因为他 bored 了啦。

Q2. 对无法 experience "iphood"，作者感到_____
A. 愤怒
B. 显 (英文: sian)
C. 沮丧
D. 遗憾


Q3. 从文找出2个排比得例子。 [2]

Q4. 请解释一下的句子。[4]
a) this is the point of time in a movie (if this were a movie) when sad songs start playing in the background.
b) 难道这就是结局

Q5. 作者在文章中是怎么谈 "iphood" 的？ 你同意吗？为什么？